The Dwayne Rudd List

Qualifications for the Rudd List (named after former Vikings linebacker Dwayne Rudd, who, after picking off some poor Bears quarterback many years ago, pretty much stopped at the five yard line, turned around, and waited to let the pursuit get a little closer before crossing the goal line):

- must have said or done something repulsive
- must have avoided punishment, official or otherwise, for the act

[note: some of these people have already stopped playing, but deserve some sort of auto wreck in their future.]

My short list:

A.J. Pierzynski
Aaron Rowand
Ben Rongrastname
Brett Favre
Brian Bosworth
Charles Martin
Closers who pose and point triumphantly towards the sky after meaningless strikeouts
Curt Schilling
Eli Manning
Jeff Kent
Kobe Bryant
Michael Irvin
Placekickers
Ray Lewis
Ron Artest
Sean Avery
Travis Henry

Feel free to pile on...

Showing his true pussy colors

So, on the plus side, this means that I can truly, honestly hate the man for the rest of his (or my, if i'm unlucky) life. And quite honestly, that makes me happy. As self-perceived somewhat enlightened man, it actually concerns me slightly how happy that makes me. Rat fink bastard.

Punch-Out!, Cutting-Room Floor Edition

In the spirit of Adam's previous post about the revival of Punch-Out!, please leave your "Characters Deemed Too Politically Incorrect To Appear In The New Version Of Punch-Out!" in the comments.

In honor of my impending trip back to East Texas, I'll set the ball a-rollin' with "Bubba Joe." 5'9", 320 lbs. Dressed in a green John Deere hat, white t-shirt with barbecue stains, blue jeans capped with an unhealthy spare tire, belt buckle the size of a basketball, and shitkickers. Kinda looks like the love child of "Bear Hugger" and The Waterboy's Farmer Fran.

Your turn.

Little Mac Returns!

This makes me want to buy a Wii again:

http://www.punchout.com/

Best / Worst Owners in Sports

A fun little list to read over lunch.  SI did this for each of the four major leagues:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/nfl/05/08/nfl.owners/index.html

Freaking Brett Favrah...

I think I'm going to puke... I know this magazine cover is a joke, but man, I went through this last year. Move on people!!

Reason #807 Why I Should Not Teach Kindergarten

If you laugh for a good five minutes at this, you maybe shouldn't be educating small children.

Hah. They called the shit poop.