Fail Blog

Believe it or not, this blog is even more brilliant than ours. Read it and love it.

Jerry Lee Lewis might have some royalties coming his way

Seriously, how can you not laugh? I mean, after you think how horrible that must be.

Actually, replace "horrible" with "hilarious." Yeah. That's better.

If They Gave One To Palmeiro...

Video today of Manny being Manny, which is to say video of a hair farmer being shit-tastic at catching a baseball. It's bad enough to miss the ball by three feet, but scampering after it on all fours like some hamstring-tear-suffering marathon runner trying to cross the finish line, then apparently using his cheeks to snare the ball once it stopped rolling?

On the bright side, this ensures Matt Murton won't finish last in the Gold Glove voting for the A.L.

New Mac Product

Yet another innovation by Apple!

Shield Your Eyes...

So I open up the Chicago Tribune sports page this morning, and I am greeted with this photo illustration....




It burns! It burns!

Reason # 1,996 why I hate the Pack

As if I needed any more reasons to hate the Packers.


On a sidenote, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I'd feel if Favre actually became a Viking (not likely), and they did really well with him in charge (not that likely either). I'm wondering how other folks would feel if one of their all-time nemesis (nemeses? nemesises?) joined your team and your team went on to win a championship or something similar.

Bri thinks I'd be crazy to be upset about this, but theres something there that I can't shake. Almost like it would ruin it for me.

Jack's Sort-of Back

Just in case anyone else still has interest after the debacle that was Day 6, there's a trailer for the 24 tv movie that'll come out in the fall. It's here. It looks... ok. I like the change of scenery and plots, at least.

Just a reminder

When you get bored watching the All-Star Game tonight (over/under is the third pitch to the AL's second batter), remember that tonight is also the premiere of Hurl! at 8pm (or 6 Tree-Huggin' Hippie Zone) on the G4 network.

For the fan who wants to be a loser, even in death...

This is either brilliant, or mentally disturbed in a clinical sense. I can't be 100% sure either way.

Beer Bath

This is so ridiculous, I don't think even the Tony "DUI" LaRussa's St. Louis Cardinals would even do this!

BREWERS!

These mascots put Willie the Wildcat to shame

You may choose one of these two mascots to show up at your job for one day and liven up the festivities. Which one, and why?

I think I'd take the bull, if only because the more oblivious students would just say "Oh, ok, um, it's a big blue bull" and go back to their nerdish ways, totally missing the point.

Dirt for Sale!

Me thinks that when I go to Yankee Stadium, I bring a shovel. (Scroll down to #10)

So is this a guaranteed loss for the Cards?

Let's hear it for Northwestern's own soft-tossing lefty, starting tonight for the Phillies. Should we expect a no-hitter, or just a shutout?

Also, does anyone know which game Harden is starting (Friday or Saturday)? Both dates were mentioned, but nothing confirmed to the best of my knowledge.

(insert sound of schoolgirl-type giggling here)

Suck balls, National League. To pre-empt the "Yeah, but he's always hurt" complaint, if he should happen to hurt himself this year that just increases the Cubs' leverage to lock him up long-term.

On a side note, when I read the terms of the deal I did the same happy dance I did when they traded Brendan Harris and assorted crap for Nomar and Murton. Hopefully this one turns out better.

Tony Gonzalez Saves Another Life

So number of lives Tony Gonzalez has saved: 2
Number of lives I have saved: 0

Nice.

In case you are wondering, wait, when was the first? You can read all about it here.

(and I know you bums are gonna comment about it ask and make fun, so no, I do not own or wear a dorky photo vest on the sidelines... that is stupid. And no, I do not own or wear kneepads either, because they are also stupid)

Anyways, the first article kind of confused me. It mentions Tony Gonzalez's wife. So a few months ago, he did not actually have a wedding.... but a formal commitment ceremony. So I guess you're still called husband and wife after said formal commitment ceremony? Interesting.

That's Right, Bitches

A NEW ERA.

Indeed :-)

So who wants to buy my Winter Classic '09 tickets for only about 500% above face value? (that is a friends discount)

The "Don't touch my stuff woman!" wedding reading

Thats what I call the reading i've been asked to do for this wedding next weekend. Figured I'd pass along the reading to folks. I've never heard one quite like it at a wedding before.


On Marriage from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Yup, Never Saw This One Coming

(end sarcasm)

No Balls, One Strike

If everyone's favorite Howitzer-armed Cardinal Yadier Molina wants nieces and nephews, after this he'll have to hope Bengie comes through for him.

The Youtube link in the comments on the AA story is great, too.