Why I'm Sick of Boston
Watching the celebration Tuesday night, you could tell that the fans weren't even that excited.
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4 comments:
So basically he hates them because they win? And they have fans that are excited about their team?
Umm... 'kay.
Should the Cardinals or Rams, or even perhaps the Blues win a title (as an aside, is ol' Bernie young enough to expect to live to see any of these things happen?), I expect to see a column from the same byline ragging on said team for being good. And ragging on the fans for feeling like they were a part of it.
"Damn those Cardinals! This 'Greatest Fans In The Country' tag is one big pile of crap. I'm tired of seeing those chunky, pink-faced white gals wearing Cardinals throwbacks, straight out of some stupid homey Americana movie, shouting 'We're No. 1' at TV cameras with distorted faces. Hey, Norbert - I didn't see you make the diving catch at the track. That was [insert name of Cards centerfielder next time they win a title]. So quit storming the field. Yo, Warren, yeah, you in the Pujols jersey bum-rushing the infield. You aren't even Eddie Pujols (Albert's brother (?)), so get off the field and let the Cardinals players celebrate."
Or, if you prefer an ACTUAL COLUMN (from October of 2006) that highlights this blithering idiot's hypocrisy: This was for baseball's best fans, who had waited 23 seasons for a reaffirmation of a proud franchise's glorious tradition. And it doesn't matter where they gathered. They could have been shivering in the frigid bowl of Busch Stadium, or watching at home, or gathered with friends in a local sports bar, or watching on satellite from a camp in Iraq, or a station in Afghanistan.... In the madness of the on-field celebration.... This was for so many people.
What a steaming load of crap. You don't like Bill Simmons? Do what the rest of America that hasn't been Schiavo'd has done, and don't read him. You're bitter because Bill Russell was traded to Boston 50 years ago? Did he come out the other night and block eight shots while scoring 17 with 13 rebounds while the Lakers weren't looking? For the love of god, he actually brings soccer in to help his "argument." Jesus Christ.
You can hate a team because they're good. But he has no basketball team that was prevented from winning by these Celtics. You can hate a team because the team's fans are obnoxious. But I'd bet Bernie's worn-out-by-daily-viewing copy of "Grumpy Old Men" that every single team who won a championship had fans that played the fool afterwards. You can, and should, hate a team because they're cheaters. But a) that has nothing to do with the Celtics beating the Lakers, and b) if you're not cheating, you're not trying. The only way you can legitimately claim hatred for these reasons is if you also provide a disclaimer ahead of time, along the lines of "All the crotchety old-man reasons I hate Boston are completely irrational and based no more in objective thought than a French Quarter palm reader."
This steaming pile of horse pucky is no more than sour grapes. Boo hoo, Boston teams are better than yours. Boo hoo, fans get happy when their teams win.
I hope Bill Simmons, Bob Ryan, and Kevin Garnett all track you down, force you into a Boston Celtics cheerleader costume and violently and repeatedly tea-bag you, Bernie Miklasz.
That's one hell of a response and an intelligent one at that.
I guess what spoke to me is the "Boston-fatigue" that the author of the column was expressing. Is some of it jealousy? Of course it is.
I guess though there is just something unusually insufferable about that city's sports culture that has been amplified in the eyes of St.Louisans; we're as bitter about the '01 Super Bowl as some Bears fans are nostalgic for the '85 team. The impact of the '04 World Series loss, while relatively palatable on its own, felt worse in the wake of the Rams' loss.
Again, all your points are well taken; I'm just trying to provide a little more insight into, specifically, the psyche of St.Louis fans (much of which you have had to listen to me rant about before).
Oh... while Bernie is relatively young (45ish?), he's remarkably fat. Please replace "grumpy old man" with "pathetically obese buffoon".
In all seriousness though, he is a good guy and a friend of my dad. Back when my dad was a practicing attorney, he actually bailed Bernie out of a DUI charge.
I totally buy the Boston fatigue. Dominance, especially across multiple sports, is great for the fans of those teams and crummy for everyone else. I'd be less annoyed at, per your request, the "pathetically obese buffoon" if the main thrust of the argument was "Hey, what can the Rams/Cardinals do to break up the mini-dynasties going on in Boston? I know! Let's get better at football! Or baseball!" Or if, rather than complaining that the Massholes are so deluded that they think they actually play a role in the team's success - which every team's diehards feel - he'd hammered them for being MORE deluded than other fans, or LESS responsible in their rise to fan-prominence than (for instance) the St. Louis fans were. My problem with the fan issue is that there's no stipulation to relativity. He comes off as sounding like he hates all diehard fans.
I see much of this being the generic Midwest vs. East Coast personality clash as applied to athletics. East Coast teams will chase success even if it means cheating, swindling teams, or selling their souls, instead of doing it "the right way" like us Midwesterners. (As an aside, does he not recognize the roles that Scott Rolen, Jim Edmonds, Chris Carpenter, Jeff Suppan, and Jason Isringhausen played in the '06 championship? 'Cause they were all, you know... acquired from other teams.) East Coast people are loud, boorish and self-aggrandizing, but us Midwesterners are restrained and dignified. Is this a common thread in his other columns?
It's fine that St. Louis feels like they're the fire hydrant to Boston's dog. And it's fine that Miklasz hates them because of it. But he can't claim to hate them simply because they're good. He can't claim to hate them simply because their fans care, especially two years after applauding his team's fans for the same behavior. And he sure as hell can't claim to hate the Celtics because of the Cardinals or Rams defeats without acknowledging the craziness of said hatred. Not "ha-ha, there goes wacky Uncle Bernie again" craziness, but "Hey, want to bet I won't staple my nuts to my leg?" craziness.
I make no claims upon the goodness-of-guy of Bernie Miklasz. Good guys and bad guys alike make silly arguments.
(Oh, and I can't let this go: Seriously, some people are as bitter about the '01 Super Bowl as Bears fans are nostalgic about '85? Meatball Bear fans have made guys like Steve McMichael, decent players with oversized personalities, rich twenty years after the fact simply for having made that roster. Meatball Bear fans have used that team's success to justify their desire for a fiery coach, regardless of actual football knowledge. For Christ's sake, meatball Bear fans have called for, at one point or another, virtually every member of that team's starting lineup to be the Bears coach - not A Bears coach, THE Bears coach - with the sole justification that "Dey played on the '85 Super Bowl team; dey can bring back dat attitude." Meatball Bear fans love that team more than Christians love Jesus. You think the Superfans was just a skit? Au contraire, mon frere.)
(Also, please excuse the length of comment. I needed a vent after the Cubs choke-job. Five bucks says that if they end up losing two of three this weekend and then faltering in the playoffs (?) this year, White Sox fans will claim the cross-town series as the reason. It'll be wronger than giving Michael Jackson a season pass to Great America, but they'll claim it.)
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