The Dwayne Rudd List

Qualifications for the Rudd List (named after former Vikings linebacker Dwayne Rudd, who, after picking off some poor Bears quarterback many years ago, pretty much stopped at the five yard line, turned around, and waited to let the pursuit get a little closer before crossing the goal line):

- must have said or done something repulsive
- must have avoided punishment, official or otherwise, for the act

[note: some of these people have already stopped playing, but deserve some sort of auto wreck in their future.]

My short list:

A.J. Pierzynski
Aaron Rowand
Ben Rongrastname
Brett Favre
Brian Bosworth
Charles Martin
Closers who pose and point triumphantly towards the sky after meaningless strikeouts
Curt Schilling
Eli Manning
Jeff Kent
Kobe Bryant
Michael Irvin
Placekickers
Ray Lewis
Ron Artest
Sean Avery
Travis Henry

Feel free to pile on...

Showing his true pussy colors

So, on the plus side, this means that I can truly, honestly hate the man for the rest of his (or my, if i'm unlucky) life. And quite honestly, that makes me happy. As self-perceived somewhat enlightened man, it actually concerns me slightly how happy that makes me. Rat fink bastard.

Punch-Out!, Cutting-Room Floor Edition

In the spirit of Adam's previous post about the revival of Punch-Out!, please leave your "Characters Deemed Too Politically Incorrect To Appear In The New Version Of Punch-Out!" in the comments.

In honor of my impending trip back to East Texas, I'll set the ball a-rollin' with "Bubba Joe." 5'9", 320 lbs. Dressed in a green John Deere hat, white t-shirt with barbecue stains, blue jeans capped with an unhealthy spare tire, belt buckle the size of a basketball, and shitkickers. Kinda looks like the love child of "Bear Hugger" and The Waterboy's Farmer Fran.

Your turn.

Little Mac Returns!

This makes me want to buy a Wii again:

http://www.punchout.com/

Best / Worst Owners in Sports

A fun little list to read over lunch.  SI did this for each of the four major leagues:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/nfl/05/08/nfl.owners/index.html

Freaking Brett Favrah...

I think I'm going to puke... I know this magazine cover is a joke, but man, I went through this last year. Move on people!!

Reason #807 Why I Should Not Teach Kindergarten

If you laugh for a good five minutes at this, you maybe shouldn't be educating small children.

Hah. They called the shit poop.

Another Year, Another Cat

I saw this clip on SportsCenter. Glad to see someone got a photo of it. So what the hell does this mean?

PS. The comments below the article are pretty ridiculous.

I don't like working today...

Read how John Madden made us smarter.  A nice piece:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124027044512036903.html

If you thought Harry Caray was bad...

... you've never heard Mike Shannon:

http://www.stltoday.com/mds/sports-cardinals/html/2344

Enjoy.

Rocky! (Balboa? And Bullwinkle? Wirtz?)

A great article on ESPNchicago.com that you guys should read if you haven't already:

http://espn.go.com/chicago/columns/story?columnist=drehs_wayne&id=4076687

Go Hawks!  (Yes, you read that right...)

New Bears Receiver!

Horray, Jay! Help is on the way!

Another Year, Another Goat

As ridiculous as this is, it does not surprise me at all.

ESPN Silliness

Ok, I'll keep it brief:

1)  Why did ESPN move SportsCenter to LA?

2)  Is this temporary or permanent?

3)  Why in the world do they think we care?

So strange, that network.

Where have you gone, Ken Tremendous?

"When the Cubs signed him last year they thought he was gonna be a guy that could hit in the fifth spot, drive in some runs, but he has proven that he wasn't that type of hitter, he was a top of the order hitter, and I guess he proves that again because he swung at the first pitch and couldn't do much with it."

- Joe Morgan, after Kosuke Fukudome's first-pitch flyout in the bottom of the 2nd inning in the USA-Japan WBC semis game.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahah...

...hahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

March Madness 2: Bracket Boogaloo

Tuesday is my day for browsing teh internets while at work, because I teach every other block (of the four daily) starting with the first one. While perusing the web this afternoon, it seemed like every website had created some kind of bracket, as a result of what I can only imagine is people across the country catching a severe case of March Madness (likely contracted while watching Youtube clips of Duke players taking eleven steps and not getting whistled for traveling). Some were for culture, others for hot womens, and still others for names. And lo, I began pondering...

Has anyone put together a Best Bracket Bracket? How much work would that take? What would you say to the person who had the free time, desire, and specific form of dementia necessary to produce a Best Bracket Bracket?

Cave Living in Missourah

I don't know whether to be proud or embarassed:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090310/ap_on_re_us/cave_home

It's Like Raaaiiiaaaaaain on Your Wedding Day...

It's the disappointment of realizing the reliance of 24's writers on recycled plot devices is killing your enjoyment of the show on the same day your copy of Baseball Prospectus 2009 arrives. The usual one-day 24 hour moratorium on details will be observed, with the exception of that link a sentence ago.

"Eeew! [Condoleeza Rice] looks like the black Chloe." - Brittney

So!

Maybe this is old news, but I just found this out:  So Taguchi is a Cub!

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=5004

Juice 2: Electric Boogaloo

Random thought while reading Adam's post and seeing when my copy of Baseball Prospectus will ship: what are the false statistical numbers (not just the outlier seasons of guys like Brady Anderson and Luis Gonzalez) going to do to projection systems like PECOTA that rely on career paths of similar players?

He Did It Again!

Hoooooly crap.....

Juice

As you all know, I tire of the steroids / PED discussion pretty quickly.  Nonetheless, I came across this column on SI.com that I think is pretty intelligent:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/joe_posnanski/02/18/mcgwire/index.html?eref=T1

Despite what the article says, I don't vindicate Mark McGwire.  I also still believe that, if delivered in way that is perceived as frank, pure honesty is the best way to heal old wounds.  Nonetheless, it's good to finally see someone write that maybe McGwire shouldn't get such a bad rap relative to some of his cheating peers.  I'd rather a guy equivocate than flat out lie.

Pick Me

Obviously these are fake (Bulger an accurate passer?!?!?!?!), but it's still pretty awesome.

Pick Me

This week's 24 post starts in 3...2...1...

I'll hold off until tomorrow am unless everyone's seen it.

Should we be surprised?

No need for a link here, but: what's your reaction to the Alex Rodriguez steroid story? Should we be angry? Surprised? Unimpressed?

Spring training starts in a week, by the way...

The Pro-Cardinals Case

I completely agree that this is optimistic, but here's why I honestly think the Cardinals could - not will, but could - challenge for the NL Central this year:

Link

The Internet is for Porn...

After seeing a couple posts show up in the comments section asking us, in some odd foreign language, to go click on someone else's blog likely dedicated to people (and perhaps farm animals) doing things the football team at Florida State hasn't even dreamed of, I've disabled the general comments thing. It should block anyone who's not an author from writing comments now.

Not that that will necessarily stop the "Click Here For Porn" comments, but, you know... it's just that we'll have to pick up the slack.

Best. Photo. Ever.

This picture was taken above the future "Ballpark Village" site next to Busch Stadium in Stl.

24 Redux

So the last episode had some interesting twists and turns, my favorite being the "First Husband" gaining his strength back and strangling the 18 year old Secret Service agent.

I'm sorry though, but President Taylor's crisis decision making ability is making the show almost unwatchable.  I mean, are you kidding me?!  It looks like the next episode will bail her out, but still.  Just ridiculous.  They could have had the same story line if she had a brain; Dubaku would have gone back on his word.

Poker!

... but I hardly even knew her!  (rimshot)

Seriously though, we haven't even tried to get a game together in quite a while.  I have no particular date in mind right now, but do you guys think we'd have a shot at getting a decent game together at some point?

I also thought about getting the old floor hockey team together again, but I've decided I've officially retired from recruiting girls to play.

Willie the Wildcat never did this...

Every site I've seen linking to this picture has used it to begin some sort of comment contest.

A) The picture is pretty slick.

B) How clever are comment contests?

24

Jerry, Robb - have you guys watched 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM yet? I think there's a good bit to discuss, but I don't want to play spoiler if you haven't seen it yet.

Jeff, I would include you, but I'm not sure if the world of psychology is even letting you near a television these days, not to mention for four hours.